I've been back in the States for about 5 weeks now. The transition has been both bitter and sweet. It's bitter for the longing of my community life that became so much a part of who I am. I have been in contact with my team members and I am grateful for the technology that makes it possible but it's still not the same. We learned how to love each other because we learned the intensity in which God loves us. It was a beautiful picture of the Body of Christ and I will be eternally grateful for knowing each one of them. It's also been hard being home and leaving the simplicity we had in Swaziland. Unlike the fast-paced rush society here in America, Africans are not time-minded and genuinely take the time to invest in relationships. It's so easy to get caught up in a "check off list", "accomplish as much as possible in as little time as possible" frame of mind. My prayer is to become more African in the way I go about my day. I have to admit it's a struggle. I've only been back a short while and I have some days where they just fly by as I'm out running errands and didn't take the time to be intentional with anyone. 

At the same time, being back in America has been incredibly sweet. The God we saw move so much in Swaziland is the same God of America and He is moving in mighty ways here! I came back to a youth group, which has not only grown in numbers but has grown in relationships and hunger for the Lord as well! My first Sunday back, my church baptized over 30 people and their testimonies bring glory to the Father! I was convicted by reading 1 John and how he starts off the letter saying his joy is made complete by being able to share about Christ. That has been my earnest desire; that my joy would not be made complete unless I was sharing Christ with others. God has been so faithful in opening up opportunities to share about His greatness! People in America are hungry for Jesus! Our neighbors, our friends, our mailmen, our cashiers, and the people sitting next to us on the plane are all hungry for Jesus! 2 Corinthians 6: 2 says, " Now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation!" I am so encouraged by what God is doing here. I feel as if He is starting to wake up the dead church. People are realizing its not just about saying a quick prayer to guarantee a spot in heaven. Being a follower of Christ means having a repented heart and surrendering our lives. It not about becoming legalistic and doing the "church" things because we feel we should. It's knowing the sacrifice that Christ made on the Cross for each of us and understanding our need for a Savior. Christianity is NOT a religion and was never intended to be. The believers that I talk to around North America are saying that there is a start of something going on in the Church...a stirring in the hearts of believer for something more. Praise God! There is so much more than going to church and bible study and trying to be a "good" citizen! It's not just about heaven but Christ has come to give us abundant life here on this earth. I didn't mean to get so excited about this topic but I see a Mighty God moving in Mighty ways here in America and I'm waiting in hopeful expectation with the great things that are coming. 

I led a weeklong trip with AIM to Newark, NJ last week with a group of youth from Grand Rapids, Michigan. It was a beautiful week and the Gospel was shared! We broke up into three teams where one went into the school and then brought some of the kids back to the church for a chance to love on them and dive into the Bible together. One group prepared meals during the day and fed the homeless and the community in the neighborhood. The last group was the construction team and completed various tasks in the community and at the church itself. Each team member had a chance to build relationships with the locals and share their faith. It was a week of growth in the Lord. We were stretched and broken. God was glorified and that's all that matters. 

This Thursday, I am leading another trip to Kingston, Jamaica. There will be forty people on my team from Washington D.C., Indiana, and Canada. Please pray for us as we work with children who have been removed from their homes by the government, the homeless of downtown, and the blind elderly on the campus where we are staying. Pray that we will be obedient servants and that we will represent Christ in all that we do. Pray for wisdom for me that I will lead this team through God's strength and not my own. I'll update you when the trip is over with pictures and great stories of how God is moving in Jamaica! 

In my last blog, I wrote about all the fun times we have been having and how much love has been in this house. Today finished up our last day of ministry and we are heading to St. Lucia, South Africa on Sunday for a week of reflecting and relaxing. Being a leader, I had less time out in Swaziland because my main ministry was my team. It was hard at first knowing what to really do with myself and feeling as if I should be doing more. Truthfully, I know I am completely inadequate as a leader and have no idea how to love or serve a group of young adults who are desperate to know their Father better. They have ministered to me far more than I could have ever ministered to them. Thankfully, I have One who lives in me that is Greater than my weaknesses and only by His grace, I have seen each one of the participants fall more in love with Christ and I have fallen in love with each one of them. I love Jesus more because of every person on this team. What started out as strangers is ending as family. So...to wrap things up, I wanted to share some sweet things about this last week and try and give you a picture of the community God has built here. 

Pastor Barlin:

A few weeks ago, I was thinking about taking some time to learn about other religions as a group for our discipleship sessions. I thought it would be great to have someone from a different religion who has become a Christian and could teach us the best way to witness them. Realistically, how was I going to find someone like that in Manzini? So, I dropped the idea and came up with other ideas for discipleship. This past Monday, I was dropping off girls at Make Peggy's (I wrote about her in an earlier post) and there was a man there named Pastor Barlin. He was a missionary from South Africa who came from a Hindu background and has been persecuted for becoming a Christian. I told him I wish he were here longer (he was leaving the next morning) so he could come and talk to the team about his story. "Why not tonight?" he said excitedly! I told him I would have to check and since he didn't have a phone to reach him on he told me he was staying in room 27 somewhere close to a local school. At 6pm, I have a strong feeling that I need to find this man and start driving around looking for him.  Long story short, God leads me to him and I bring him over for dinner. His story and passion for Christ ministered to each of us and I am blessed to have met him. Praise God for answering a prayer that I thought was impossible from the beginning!

Christmas in April:

A few months ago, I got pulled into this "secret" group who wanted to have Christmas in April but do it as a surprise for the team. Honestly, I think they thought it was wise to have a leader on their side because that way I have more pull in getting things done (since I can drive and have access to the funds!). We had "secret meetings" where we would make snowflakes and decide who was in charge of each task. April 25^th came and we "convinced" the rest of the team to go hike a mountain. We stayed home all day decorating and even got a Christmas tree from a local missionary. The house looked amazing! We made baked oatmeal and eggnog (non-alcoholic of course.) When the team arrived, they were so excited and their faces made the whole thing worth it! We listened to Christmas music, ate great food, and even did a white elephant gift exchange (while they were gone I "borrowed" their things and wrapped them up!) To finish off the night we watched Elf and just enjoyed each other's company. Why celebrate the birth of our Savior only one day a year? We should remember that the King of the Universe came down from heaven in the form of a man where He was scorned by His own creation and then died on a Cross for our sins every day! So, Merry Christmas everyone!

Chivalry is NOT dead:

Tonight, Friday May 1^st was our last family fun night. The guys told us they had it covered and have been in secret mode all week. To start the night out, they told us to all go into the girl's room and wait about 30 minutes until they set things up. When they brought us out, they led us into a candlelit room where they sang a song they had written about us. Then, they fed us fruit and chocolate fondue! They told us how appreciative they were of us and how we always take care of them. They played a chick flick for us while they made us brownies from scratch and served us ice water. The night was completed when they came in after the movie and confessed that the brownies actually turned out awful and couldn't even get a knife through them! The men on this team are phenomenal and have been true examples of men of God. I'm not just saying this because they fed us chocolate but I have been amazed at them for a while now. They protect and comfort us and have each stepped up in huge ways. Praise God for these brothers in Christ who have been great representatives of what it means to pursue Jesus and honor us as women!

I don't know if I will be able to write again before we leave. We will be gone all next week and then officially leave Swaziland May 12^th. I will be back home May 16^th after a few days of debrief in Atlanta. Please continue to pray for us as we wrap things up here. Pray that God will bring closure and that our last few days together will be filled with sweet fellowship. Pray for safe travel, as we will be moving around a lot in the next few weeks. Thank you again for all of your prayers and support and for making this trip possible!  

These past few weeks, there has been a different kind of atmosphere here on the team. The house has been filled with laughter and love for one another.   God has a way of taking what may seem like a rough situation and turning it around completely for good.   1 John 4: 7-8 says, "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love!" I praise Him for the love that He has lavished upon us and how because of Him we know how to love each other. 

On Good Friday, we decided to take a day and just have fun together. We went to a local game park for a braai (an African style bar-b-que) and hung out with the zebras and hippos. Then we went to this extreme outdoor paintball course where we dove into bushes and ambushed each other! I'm posting some pictures on here so check them out and see how intense we were!

Our nights around here have become very strange yet hilarious. It's as if everyone gets back from ministry and explodes with energy and excitement to see each other. Or...we have just been together so long that the weirdness shines even more. We can't even pretend to be normal anymore! There have been glow stick parades at 1 AM, rap music videos made, fishing in the toilets for toothbrushes, hunting for fruit around the yard, and frat parties. Each Friday night we do some sort of family activity and this past Friday, Davie hosted a Christian Frat party! We drank a ginger soda and played games like Pong, Flip cup, and Kings. We even got in trouble by our neighbor asking us to keep it down, which made it even more official. 

I know for those of you reading this, your probably thinking we have all lost it. We may have...but speaking for myself, I think I was crazy even before coming on the trip! Its just amazing how God can take a death of a close friend and help our team realize how precious our time is together. He has bonded us to Himself as we seek comfort from Him and realize He is Sovereign, even when we don't understand the situation. He has united us with each other and filled this house with so much love. As our time here is coming to an end fast, we are soaking up as much time with each other as we can. I am constantly in awe as I see Christ in each person here. They don't just have the "Jesus" shine, they reek of Him and He is overflowing out of them. I am a changed and better person for knowing each one of them. They have all touched my heart in a way that they will never fully be able to grasp. Thank you so much for your prayers during these past few weeks! They have been heard and God has been faithful in restoring the brokenness!

I praise You God for a community, a family and for a love surpasses all knowledge!

Kenosis-

Kenosis is the Greek term for emptying. Have you ever prayed to be emptied of yourself? When it happens, it hurts pretty bad. This past week, God has been faithful in emptying me and revealing the deceitfulness in my heart. I'm still trying to process everything and holding onto God's promises even though things don't make sense at the moment. 

 It started last week when the team was on Spring Break. I was the only leader to stay here with 6 participants while the rest of the team traveled around. It was a sweet week. We each had lots of time alone with God and then would come together in the evenings to discuss Hebrews and pray with each other. I felt closer to God that week than I have in a while. On Friday, we hiked Execution Rock, this giant mountain where they used to walk witches and criminals up and make them plummet to their death. Despite it's awful history, it was beautiful scenery and we had so much fun, even with a chest infection that practically killed me! That evening as I was resting from the hike, a man walked into the house claiming he wanted "just one sexy girl." After trying to steal our shoes and being chased out a few times, we thought we had seen the last of him. That night, I awoke to him watching me sleep outside my glass balcony door. Ironically, I was not afraid but went into protection mode thinking I would not let anyone hurt this team.   We chased him out again and 10 minutes later, he jumped back over the gate, this time in full view of us. After watching him in the bushes for a while, he shouts, "Why are you staring at me?" and jumps back over the gate. This guy obviously was not all there to ask a question like that as he is breaking into our yard. Blair, the one guy here, and I stayed up all night on the balcony to keep watch and thankfully the man did not try to come back. 

The next day, a different man that was here the night before mugged our girls. Thankfully, again, no one was hurt. This is something that can happen anywhere, even in the safest town in America. That afternoon, I realized how much I was trying to lean on my own strength and comfort instead of on God's. I did not have the words to comfort the girls and felt responsible. I realized I could not protect them, at least not on my own. God broke me and humbled me and reminded me He had everything under control. God kept telling me to allow Him to be God and stop trying to do things on my own. I was grateful for the realization and have been forced into a new kind of dependency on the Lord; one where I can do nothing without Him. I was emptied of my strength and abilities. Kenosis begins its work. (For those of you at home who are worried by this story, don't be. We now have full time security in place at the house and have taken more precautions and God is our Protector and Refuge.)

Then this week, the rest of the team came back and since then it's been one thing after another. One participant wanted to go home, one had to be rushed to the clinic, and so on. Saturday, Matt, our guy leader, took our van into the shop for some repairs and while he was waiting, he went to the waterfall. Being a boy...he decided to jump off the 60ft. cliff into the water. He landed right on his back and long story short, he now has a fractured spine. Praise God he is not paralyzed because it could have been a lot worse! The local clinic told him he would be fine if he just rested. The next day however, we took him down to South Africa for a second opinion and sure enough, he has to have immediate surgery. The best option was to send him home in a brace to have surgery there because it's going to be 6 weeks of bed rest and physical therapy. Today, we said goodbye to our beloved brother and co-leader. I'm grateful for God's protection in the situation but it's just really hard. The other two leaders and I are drained and honestly I don't know how much more we have in us. Our strength has to come from the Lord and we have to hold onto His promises right now. That really is the beauty of the situation. We have been emptied and we are right where God wants us. Now, as we lay ourselves aside God can actually get a chance to perform the miraculous signs and wonders He wants to do in this team and through the team in Swaziland. I don't know what the rest of this trip will look like but as the process of kenosis continues, God will continue to shine. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. He alone is God and He alone is good. 

So... as far as prayer right now, pray that we will seek God more and not become bitter or shutdown. Pray for authenticity and that this will bring a spirit of realness amongst the team. Pray for our hearts to be comforted and to see God's bigger picture. Pray that He will equip us as leaders for this team. Pray that through our mourning and weaknesses, the Great Comforter will speak to our hearts. Pray for strength and courage to press on. Pray for more kenosis of ourselves, even though it is usually accompanied with pain.

 " I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us!"- Romans 8:18

Kenosis is the Greek term for emptying.  Have you ever prayed to be emptied of yourself? When it happens, it hurts pretty bad.  This past week, God has been faithful in emptying me and revealing the deceitfulness in my heart. I'm still trying to process everything and holding onto God's promises even though things don't make sense at the moment. 

 It started last week when the team was on Spring Break. I was the only leader to stay here with 6 participants while the rest of the team traveled around.  It was a sweet week. We each had lots of time alone with God and then would come together in the evenings to discuss Hebrews and pray with each other.  I felt closer to God that week than I have in a while.  On Friday, we hiked Execution Rock, this giant mountain where they used to walk witches and criminals up and make them plummet to their death. Despite it's awful history, it was beautiful scenery and we had so much fun, even with a chest infection that practically killed me! That evening as I was resting from the hike, a man walked into the house claiming he wanted "just one sexy girl." After trying to steal our shoes and being chased out a few times, we thought we had seen the last of him.  That night, I awoke to him watching me sleep outside my glass balcony door. Ironically, I was not afraid but went into protection mode thinking I would not let anyone hurt this team.   We chased him out again and 10 minutes later, he jumped back over the gate, this time in full view of us. After watching him in the bushes for a while, he shouts, "Why are you staring at me?" and jumps back over the gate.  This guy obviously was not all there to ask a question like that as he is breaking into our yard. Blair, the one guy here, and I stayed up all night on the balcony to keep watch and thankfully the man did not try to come back. 

The next day, a different man that was here the night before mugged our girls. Thankfully, again, no one was hurt.  This is something that can happen anywhere, even in the safest town in America. That afternoon, I realized how much I was trying to lean on my own strength and comfort instead of on God's.  I did not have the words to comfort the girls and felt responsible.  I realized I could not protect them, at least not on my own.  God broke me and humbled me and reminded me He had everything under control.  God kept telling me to allow Him to be God and stop trying to do things on my own.  I was grateful for the realization and have been forced into a new kind of dependency on the Lord; one where I can do nothing without Him. I was emptied of my strength and abilities.  Kenosis begins its work.  (For those of you at home who are worried by this story, don't be.  We now have full time security in place at the house and have taken more precautions and God is our Protector and Refuge.)

Then this week, the rest of the team came back and since then it's been one thing after another. One participant wanted to go home, one had to be rushed to the clinic, and so on.  Saturday, Matt, our guy leader, took our van into the shop for some repairs and while he was waiting, he went to the waterfall. Being a boy...he decided to jump off the 60ft. cliff into the water. He landed right on his back and long story short, he now has a fractured spine. Praise God he is not paralyzed because it could have been a lot worse! The local clinic told him he would be fine if he just rested. The next day however, we took him down to South Africa for a second opinion and sure enough, he has to have immediate surgery.  The best option was to send him home in a brace to have surgery there because it's going to be 6 weeks of bed rest and physical therapy.  Today, we said goodbye to our beloved brother and co-leader.  I'm grateful for God's protection in the situation but it's just really hard.  The other two leaders and I are drained and honestly I don't know how much more we have in us.  Our strength has to come from the Lord and we have to hold onto His promises right now.  That really is the beauty of the situation. We have been emptied and we are right where God wants us. Now, as we lay ourselves aside God can actually get a chance to perform the miraculous signs and wonders He wants to do in this team and through the team in Swaziland.  I don't know what the rest of this trip will look like but as the process of kenosis continues, God will continue to shine.  His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.  He alone is God and He alone is good. 

So... as far as prayer right now, pray that we will seek God more and not become bitter or shutdown. Pray for authenticity and that this will bring a spirit of realness amongst the team.  Pray for our hearts to be comforted and to see God's bigger picture.  Pray that He will equip us as leaders for this team. Pray that through our mourning and weaknesses, the Great Comforter will speak to our hearts.  Pray for strength and courage to press on.  Pray for more kenosis of ourselves, even though it is usually accompanied with pain.

 " I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us!"- Romans 8:18

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything"- James 1:2-4

A few weeks ago, I asked you to pray for an opportunity to go to the maximum-security prison and minister to the women. Thank you so much for your prayers because it appears we have an open door! I spent days trying to find the Swaziland Counsel of Churches and literally was sent to ten different places, each place sending me somewhere different. Once I found it, I was given a number to contact the director, which turned into many conversations with her secretary asking me to call back another time. I finally reached her and she gave me the phone number of a Reverend who may be able to help me. I spoke with him and he informed me that they usually only go once a year and do an Angel Tree program to provide gifts for the children of mothers who are in the prison. I explained we would like to go and pray and encourage the women and if that would be possible. He said he would try and find a woman who would be willing to accompany us and call me back in a week. Tonight, March 15^th, I received a phone call from a woman named Ethel who said she would be excited to go with us to the prison!!! She will be out of town the next two weeks but when she returns she will set up an appointment for us to go and really looks forward to meeting us. Praise God! Honestly, even if we get to go for only one week, there may be one woman there who needs to hear from the Word of God!

Continue to pray for the hearts of those we will meet; that they will be open to what God wants to show them. Pray that we will love these women as Christ loves us. Pray that every time we open our mouths words will be given to us so that we can fearlessly make known the mysteries of the Gospel( Eph. 6:19). 

Sometimes, when doors appear to be closing, God is challenging us to persevere and fight for the things that are important to us. By persevering, we are becoming mature and complete, not lacking anything! We are told in the Bible that ALL things are possible with God and more often then not, He brings us through trials in order to strengthen our faith. If He just gave us everything the first time around, how strong would our faith be? We don't serve a god who is a genie and just magically gives us everything we want. We serve a God who loves us so much that He wants us to be mature and complete, not lacking anything! Praise be to a God of details, who cares enough about us to continue to make us more like Him! 

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those that are perishing." 2 Corinthians 2: 15

Have you ever thought about what the aroma of Christ smells like? This past weekend, I experienced not only His smell but also saw Him, heard Him and felt Him. We drove about forty minutes outside of town to a care point in order to wash the feet of the children and provide each of them with a new pair of shoes. We walked into this tiny building and the children were waiting for us with excitement written all over their faces. They began singing worship songs in SiSwati and it was as if angels themselves were singing! As the kids lined up and either took off their dirty worn-out shoes or didn't have any shoes on at all, I saw Christ in our team as they humbly knelt down to wash their feet. Christ came to serve and not be served and He completed the lowliest act by washing His disciples' feet and then told us to follow His example in serving others. The room was filled with His presence and His aroma as feet were washed, children were prayed over and new shoes were given. It was for sure one of the best days of ministry we have done together as a team; not because of us but for the beautiful picture of what our lives should look like everyday. I want to encourage you if you have ever donated something or filled a shoebox for a child you will never get to see that there are children around the world who receive your gifts and praise God for your thoughtfulness. Whoever donated these shoes will never know the impact they made on both the children and those of us who served in putting them on the kids. Continue to give. Don't let it just be a once-a-year thing you do around Christmas. There are needy children all around the world and in our own towns. Ask God for opportunities to give to someone less fortunate and He will be glad to show you. He delights when His children serve each other. 

* I added some pictures of this beautiful day so make sure you check them out also!

God has recently really challenged me about my authenticity with Him and I wanted to share with you in hopes that you also may take a look at your own walk with Christ. I'm tired of claiming one thing and then living out another. I'm tired of being "ok" with things that the Bible clearly tells us we should not be "ok" with. I'm tired of taking the Gospel for granted and not focusing on what happened on the Cross daily. I am tired of thinking I deserve certain things when in actuality, I deserve Hell and I have already been given more than I can wrap my mind around through my salvation.   I realize I have far to go but I am encouraged at the same time because His Spirit lives in me and continually teaches me more about the One who died for my sins. 

There has been much talk this semester about lukewarm Christianity and what it means to be truly in love with Christ. Revelations 3:15-16 says, "I know your deeds that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth." The actual meaning for the word spit here was to vomit. Stop for a minute and picture Christ wanting to vomit you out of His mouth. The thought just seems awful. Matthew 25: 31-33 tells us that the Son of Man will come in all His glory and will separate the sheep from the goats and will put the sheep on his right and the goats on His left (paraphrase). Also in Matthew 7:21-23 we hear, " Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evil doers!" These words are harsh and we need to take them seriously. When that day comes that we meet Him face-to-face, how can we be sure that He will not turn us away but welcome us in with open arms? How can we be sure we are not goats?

I read somewhere that 70% of people who claim to be Christians are nominal, or Christians by name only. It makes me wonder that out of 100 people in my church, will 70 people be turned away because they never really got it? Being a follower of Christ is not just about saying a quick prayer of salvation and then continuing to live as we were before. When we truly understand what we are saved from, when we see the magnitude of the grace that was poured out on us, when we realize that it was our sin that hung Jesus to that Cross, can we say a prayer and not be changed? 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! Sure, we may have given up the "obvious sins" that we had in our lives but have our hearts really changed? Are we living a life that appears "good" because of those around us or are we striving for righteousness because we are so in love with God and everything He has done for us? Do we attend church and Bible studies and feed the homeless because we feel that's what we should do or are we chasing after Christ with such passion that those things become naturally who we are? Are we reaching out to others because that's the right "Christian" thing to do or do we truly want everyone else to experience the joy and satisfaction that comes in knowing Christ intimately?

If you have not read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, I highly recommend checking it out! Chan goes into detail about what a lukewarm Christian is like and what a person who is truly in love with Jesus is like. I'm going to mention a few of his examples and hopefully you are challenged as much as I was by reading these. 

• Lukewarm People attend church fairly regularly. It is what is expected of them, what they believe "good Christians" do, so they go. 

• People who are obsessed with Jesus have an intimate relationship with Him. They are nourished by God's Word throughout the day because they know that forty minutes on Sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole week, especially when they will encounter so many distraction and alternative messages. 

• Lukewarm People give money to charity and to the church ...as long as it doesn't impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give, they do so. 

• People who are obsessed with Jesus give freely and openly without censure. 

• Lukewarm People tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict. They desire to fit in both at church and outside of church; they care more about what people think of their actions (like church attendance and giving) than what God thinks of their hearts and lives. 

• Obsessed people love those who hate them and who can never love them back. They aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. They care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain and distress. 

• Lukewarm People don't really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don't genuinely hate sin and aren't truly sorry for it; they're merely sorry because God is going to punish them. 

• Lukewarm People are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act. Lukewarm people call "radical" what Jesus expected of all His Followers. 

• People who are obsessed with Jesus do not consider service a burden. Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving His people. They are characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being. They are raw with God and do not attempt to mask the ugliness of their sins or failures.

There were many other examples but these really seemed to hit home with me. Are we living lives that reflect Christ or are we living lives that look no different from those who are not believers? If you were to die today, would Christ say, "Well done good and faithful servant. You have fought the fight and I delight in you my Bride!" or would you hear, " You claim to know me but I do not know you. You are but a goat pretending to be one of my sheep. Away from me!?"

The only way for us to "truly get it" is to come before the Cross every single day. Elisabeth Elliot said, "Shall we forget the price our sinless Savior paid for our redemption? He was captured, blindfolded, slapped, punched, whipped, stripped, crowned with thorns, and nailed to a wooden cross with real iron nails. Think about that." When we begin to see just how much God loves us, how can we not be captivated by Him? The greatest thing about it all is that his love did not end on the Cross! What Christ did for us over 2000 years ago is enough for us to praise Him for the rest of our lives and for eternity but He is so gracious that He does not stop there. He loves bringing delight to his children. Think about your salvation and how much that truly means to you. Then think about how blessed you are in everything that you have; your health, your family, your home, the written Word, the list goes on an on. Lets take some time and praise God for all that He is and that His grace is sufficient for us!    

 A woman came and sat next to me and told me how drunk she was. Her speech was slurred and it was obvious she had a little too much. As we chatted, she told me she was a Zionist and wanted to hear the Truth. A Zionist will claim to know God but there is much ancestral worship and false beliefs that come along with it. I told her about Jesus Christ and how He was the only Way into heaven. At this, her tone changed and she became very interested in learning about this Christ. She asked where I had heard this and I pulled out a Bible to show her the words herself. After a beautiful conversation, she said she wanted this Jesus as her own. A little skeptical, I kept restating it in different ways and repeated the Scripture that we had just read. I feel like she really understood her need for a Savior and we prayed together asking Christ to be the Lord of her life. I don't know the condition of her heart but I pray that some of the conversation sticks. We are told in Isaiah that the Word does not go out and return void and I know the Lord wants her heart as much as He wanted mine seven years ago. I am reminded of Pastor Timothy, a pastor we worked with in Kenya. He said he came to know the Lord when He was wasted and a white missionary came and shared the Love of God with him. Now, Pastor Timothy has a church and a school and a feeding program and is reaching Kenya as an awesome vessel for God.

We cannot make the decision who should hear the Gospel or when they should hear it. It is our job to live the Gospel and proclaim the Good News to everyone. It is not our doing at all but the work of the Holy Spirit. Christ came and died for our sins and no matter how much of a disaster our lives are in, He is able to redeem us and make us new.            " Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I cannot imagine a better birthday present than sharing in the joy of telling someone about the love of Christ. I am honored and humbled that God would choose someone like me to help build His Kingdom. Please pray for this woman and the people we met today who were caught up in finding fulfillment in liquor rather than Christ. Pray that the Truth of God would spread through this squatter camp and that lives would be changed because of knowing Him.

Thank you Lord for 25 years of life on this earth and thank you for seven years of life with you!

After this, I felt the people in the room needed some uplifting conversation so I sat down and told them why I was there and asked if they could teach me some SiSwati. As I attempted to pronounce the words, laughter filled the room. They took great delight in seeing me struggle to say certain things. I just can't seem to make my mouth click without sounding completely dumb! They had me guess their ages and we joked about why I was not married yet. For a while, I could almost see the sadness leave their eyes. 

At this time, I see this tiny old woman with two teeth shovel in with a child on her hunched back. She placed her in the one open bed and looked up at me with a half smile. I walked over and introduced myself and in her broken English and my awful Siswati, I figured out she was the grandmother of this child. The child was struggling to breath and the woman informed me that it was asthma and probably tuberculosis. It hurt me so bad to watch this young child. I didn't have words except, "Jesus, please help her to breath. Jesus, open up her lungs." I repeated these words over and over. Her breathing began to slow but was still a struggle for her. This poor gogo (grandmother) has probably seen her children die which has left her to now care for her grandchild. And now, she has to sit back and watch her granddaughter fight for air. I don't know what must have been going through her mind. I can't even imagine being in her situation. It seems so unfair that there is such immense suffering here and yet I have great health and the means to take care of any health situation if it were to arise. 

Do I trust that God is Sovereign over everything? Can God take any situation and turn it around for good? Yes. I have to hold on to that Truth. Romans 8:28 tells us that we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. There have been many times in my life where I did not see the good in a situation; where it may have seemed like the worse thing that could have happened. Then, in hindsight, I see how God worked and how that awful circumstance taught me, shaped me, and molded me into the person God desires me to be. I see how He has been glorified and how I have grown closer to Him during these hard times. Do I have to understand why things happen? No, that's not my job. I have to trust that the God of hope will be faithful as He has always been in the past. I have to know in my heart that He can and will turn every situation, even death, into something good. I have to know that when Christ died on the cross, God was the most unfair He has ever been. I deserve death. It's not fair for me to have a gift of grace that allows me to live for eternity. I am thankful that God is not fair in giving what we deserve. I am thankful that because He was not fair, there is now hope for us all. There is hope for the single mother whose child has meningitis and hope for the gogo watching her grandchild struggle to breath.  I don't understand death and I don't know if I ever will but I do know that we have a hope that goes beyond this lifetime. We have a Savior who redeemed us all!

The skies here are my absolute favorite part of Swaziland. I am finding so much of God's character through the skies. In the morning, when the sun is rising and the clouds are resting on top of the valley of Manzini, I am reminded that His mercies are new every morning. I am fascinated that He creates the exact combination of molecules for us to breath and not have our lungs collapse. The clouds make me think of Christ's return and how He will be riding a cloud, revealing his majesty. In the afternoon when the sun is beaming down and there is not a cloud in the sky, I am reminded that He is in complete control. He keeps the earth and all the planets in perfect rotation and doesn't bring us too close to this giant flaming ball. I smile at how intricately detailed our bodies are and that we need sunlight to provide vitamins and endorphins. I think it is no coincidence that the sun and The Son share a name. Both provide a Great light and both are a source for growth. In the evening when the sun is setting behind the mountains, I am reminded that He is the Master Artist and each sunset is different than the last. The colors seem to be brushed across the sky as if God is saying, " Look! I did this one just for you! Enjoy my creation!" At night if there is a thunderstorm, I watch the lightning and think of how powerful He is. In Revelations 4, we get an image of God's throne and are told thunder rolls and flashes of lightning all around this glorious throne. As the whole ground shakes, I become excited as to what it will be like to see Him on His throne and how I will probably fall to my knees in awe of all he encompasses. When the night is clear and the stars stretch across the sky that seems to go on forever, I am reminded of His love for us. There is no scientific reasoning for stars. He gives them to us just for our pleasure. He delights in making us smile. I sit in quiet awe of Him just admiring His work and He sends me a shooting star to captivate me even more. Sometimes, I feel He gives me the sky to continually bring me back to my First Love. When I am running around dropping off students or getting caught up in the logistics, all I need to do is look up and remember my reason for being here. Thank you Precious Jesus for your skies! Thank you for reveling yourself to me time and time again! Thank you that you love me more than I can ever fully grasp. Thank you for just being You!

I am going to post some pictures of the skies here. Pictures don't capture the full beauty but even by the pictures, you can tell He is an artist!